Downtown Fredericton: A Hunt for The Best Pumpkin Spice Latté
Written for The Brunswickan
(‘Drink Me’, by Incé Husain)
Fredericton is comfortably pandemic-coated. We are sanitizor-enthusiasts and mask-swathed conversationalists. We find it hard to recognize faces and often wave at strangers or at nobody. Mouths hidden beneath increasingly glamorous masks, we can’t tell when people smile at us or narrow their eyes. Half our words are fabric-dominated; mumbling our way through small talk has never been easier.
But amidst this social height, pumpkin spice lattés remain.
And with them, memories of heartier Octobers.
I offer a testament to such times. Behold: the scouring of five coffee shops in search of the best pumpkin spice latté in downtown Fredericton. It’s a showdown between Starbucks, The Chess Piece Pâtisserie, Mill Town Roasters, The Abbey Café & Gallery, and Second Cup.
I’m methodical. Each latté has been described in real time as it was tasted to assure maximum preservation and precision of flavour and feeling. Each latté has also been ranked on pumpkin, spice, pumpkin spice, saturation, quality, and pleasurability scales (rating of 0 for undetectable, 5 for excessive).
Let the countdown begin.
5. Second Cup
Second Cup had the honour of serving me my first pumpkin spice latté ever. The foam sizzled as I gave it a preparatory stir. Unapologetically aesthetic-prone, I was enticed.
Sip one: very thick, foamy, heavy texture. Creamy bitterness accumulated in the back of my throat and circulated my next few breaths, like smoke.
Where was the pumpkin? I concentrated excessively; no luck. The sips were distinctly salty against an oversweet backdrop. I became desensitized by sip five, and therein identified hints of cinnamon. The final sip was saccharine, and a (synthetic) pumpkin flavour vigorously emerged.
The latté’s residue collected in chemically grains on my lips.
Pumpkin scale: 2⁄5
Spice scale: 4⁄5
Pumpkin spice scale: 2⁄5
Saturation scale: 5/5
Quality scale: 1⁄5
Pleasurability scale: 1⁄5
4. Chess Piece Pâtisserie
I adore the Chess Piece. I trust the Chess Piece. Chess Piece, don’t fail me now.
Sip one: atypical texture. Buttery, frothy, sweet, thin - this remained intriguing for the first few sips. Very cinnamon-centred; pumpkin unprioritized. Potent, sweet, authentic coffee. Good coffee. Great coffee. But pumpkin spice latté? More like cinnamon latté.
Pumpkin scale: 1⁄5
Spice scale: 2⁄5
Pumpkin spice scale: 1⁄5
Saturation scale: 2⁄5
Quality scale: 4⁄5
Pleasurability scale: 3⁄5
3. Starbucks
Wind whipped my hair. I peeled open the Starbucks lid. A spiral of whipped cream, flecked with cinnamon galaxies. Bliss, to eyes that were computer-screen-studded all day.
First sip: a slow explosion, admirably pumpkin. Thin but rich. Not bitter: the spice was gentle but noticeable. This latté was a homogenous serum rather than a multilayered flavour that could be slotted into initial tastes and aftertastes. Sophisticatedly salty. Modest and level. Pricey.
Pumpkin scale: 4⁄5
Spice scale: 2.5/5
Pumpkin spice scale: 4⁄5
Saturation scale: 3⁄5
Quality scale: 5/5
Pleasurability scale: 4⁄5
2. Mill Town Roasters
If I said I was ranking pumpkin spice lattés downtown, would the server say my latté is on the house?
“Hi! Do you serve pumpkin spice lattés?” I asked. “I’m writing an article, actually. I have to write about and rank the pumpkin spice lattés downtown. It’s for The Brunswickan, UNB’s student newspaper.”
The server smiled. She shared an anecdote about journalism and STU.
I smiled, asked polite questions. She smiled, asked polite questions.
Handed me my receipt. Oh, well.
First sip: how dark. How serious. Thick, but not saturated. Rich, expansive flavour filled the mouth and nose like an inflating balloon, foam and spice blooming into a pumpkin cloud. The flavours didn’t spar: they took turns, harmonized, lapsed together. It diluted in my mouth to feel watery before being swallowed. Mellow-sweet, subdued. The final sip was sickening syrup, a finish that I adored.
Pumpkin scale: 3⁄5
Spice scale: 3⁄5
Pumpkin spice scale: 4.5/5
Saturation scale: 2⁄5
Quality scale: 4⁄5
Pleasurability scale: 5/5
1. The Abbey Café and Gallery:
Four pumpkin spice lattés overanalyzed in two days. Consider my palette exhausted. Consider my palette so mercilessly tested that the mere mention of a pumpkin spice latté felt like a microaggression. My dad kindly ventured to the Abbey Café in my stead to bring me back a final PSL.
My phone rang. “The Abbey café only serves real coffee,” my dad paraphrased.
Call me biased, but I’m afraid they’ve won me over. ♦
A modified version of this article appeared in a printed issue of The Brunswickan in September 2021